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For the longest time, I have been fascinated by sports. My brother has been an athlete since he was young and while he was doing that I was just tagging along with him. I would say that I am quite adventurous ever since, physically active if you may, but as much as I am like that I never enjoyed the pain of playing sports. I hate the outside with devotion. I don’t like the soreness that I feel when the ball lands on my arm while playing volleyball. I hated the sweat that was dripping where it touched my eyes and It temporarily blinds you (I’m sure I am wrong but I am exaggerating cause I hate it). I prefer indoors. But back then Martial arts was an expensive sport to have and from where I am living it seems that there were no teachers at the time who’s giving it for free (I can’t afford it). 

But for 2 years I studied in Manila and I discovered Taekwondo. I instantly fell in love with it. The physical movements, the dance, the kicks and how those combined can turn you into a lethal weapon. I adored it. It also helps that my teachers were very encouraging and took whatever they have to teach us what they know. The bond that I formed with those people after years of being with them I try to replicate it in every person that I meet and every place that I go. And just in case my former coaches, teachers and team mates will read this; from the bottom of my heart I truly thank you for the years that we have spent together. 

I have experienced multiple lows in my life, what kept me afloat was the promise to myself that I will have whatever I want in life as long as I continue living my life because I will try to get them. One of those is a blackbelt in taekwondo. 

I haven’t yet to this day. But this promise led me to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or BJJ. I was 25 years old when I came to inquire about the sport. I was planning to go to taekwondo again but at that point in my life I think I can find another martial art to pique my interest ( I am also seeing that most of them do kids classes, there are adults of course but that doesn’t fit in my schedule anymore). So I inquired. I brought my sister with me and I really enjoyed it. After my second roll in the mat. I have this gnawing feeling inside me that, this is it, this is what I wanted to do. I knew I was hooked. I knew I found my new devotion.

At first I felt shy, this is a male dominated sport. I felt out of place, but it quickly vanished once I met the people there. They are friendly, nice and very welcoming. 

I adapted to the sports a lot. The mental toll it took on me was quite surprising to say the least. It was very challenging. There are words that I don’t understand because there’s a lot of techniques and my brain can’t cope with it. As the weeks passed by I started to see the grasp of it and I was able to see the flow. It took me 6 months to fully enjoy it.

That’s the big thing about BJJ it crushes your ego. It keeps you humble and even though you are quite adept to it. There are people who will be far better than you. I struggled with ti’ll now. I can tame it, but it is still frustrating me. Know when to tap when you feel pain, know when to push through. Don’t be afraid to be belittled in the mat. Sometimes, we are our worst critics, refrain from doing that because it will blossom to something very ugly if you nurture it. 

You can learn from the people around you. Observe, listen, study and seep through whatever information you can. This sport is not just a game of muscle, it is also a strategy. Be smart about it and don’t hurt yourself trying to prove anything to anyone. Be a student.

Personally, I don’t struggle with discipline and motivation (except for eating, but I am working on it)  because I make sure that when I do something I have to do it. I remove distractions, eliminate my choices and as I can I make myself ready so I can go to the gym. 

I wanted to train, and as vague as I am I wanted to earn a colored belt. I wanted to be better, and eventually I wanted to be the best at it. 

I was 6 months sober when I started to learn jujitsu. By this time I am going to the gym I made a vow that I will go exercise when I can. I eliminated going with my friends because when I do I often spend a lot of my time with them (it is because I love them and I miss them). 

I develop a night and morning routine. It was a gradual state of learning and eventually I developed a habit out of it. 

I made my choices as few as possible and created a system that helped me to help myself do what I want. The key? Show up.

Perfectionism is a disease. I would say this as a perfectionist myself. Nothing would be good enough in my head and that is why I struggled so hard to start things. Be at ease at  what you can do. Explore what your limits are but always, always be safe about it. Do not be stupid and reckless.

There’s a lot of things that you can do. Effort requires systems that will serve you and cater to what you want. You can design effort to be effortless and be more enjoyable to do. Make it fun and not optional. Recognize that failure is not just losing but also learning. 

Be who you are, be the best version of yourself. We can all try. Learn what are the characteristics of the best version of yourself and try to emulate it. It is not “fake it until you make it” but a practice to who you are going to be in the future.

Is it fun for me to be flat out on the mat and beaten? No. Is it enjoyable every time I need to tap with the people who are younger than me and have much less experience? No. But would I still be continuing? Yes. I am still hopeful that I can beat them (jk). But If I can’t it is okay. I am learning more of myself every time I get on the mat. I feel like I am becoming a better person and a better fighter. And for someone who cries when losing at something (me) I really have to be patient with myself every time and acknowledge that I need to work on it and be better, gradually of course.

Progress is consistent. There is no pattern, just continue it and learn. And sometimes it hits you like a truck so just be prepared.

The more I study it the more I realize there’s so much to learn and love for it. Strengthen your foundations for who you are. Learn what you like and not like. What you do makes you feel good and helps other people to the best of your ability. 

Do not waste your life for something that is fleeting and temporary. Invest in things that make you happy. Put love in everything you do and just watch all else follows.

It’s cool to start. Do not berate yourself for not seeing who you are and what you can do. It is okay to feel frustrated, just don’t give up.